When the topic of self-awareness issues in others comes up, I often lean on the research by psychologist Tasha Eurich, who found that 95% of people think they're self aware. In reality, however, only 10% to 15% of people really are. Related research also shows that people who are self-aware perform better at work and lead more effectively. Given those numbers, it is no wonder that improving emotional intelligence and self-awareness comes up so much. It can be so important - and so difficult - to manage. If you are a person who leads other people and find yourself asking "How do I help someone who isn't self-aware?" consider asking yourself:
Are you part of the problem? Before you try to fix someone, be sure you've dug into your own level of self-awareness.
Do you both see the same issues? If not, you can ask what issues the other person sees, if any.
Does the person want to work on these issues? Be sure you're not trying to change the person into someone they are not. As well, give the person the opportunity is to ask if he wants the added responsibility of the work that is needed.
Are you putting in the same effort they are? You shouldn't want the change more than the other person.
What is the plan for the person to work on these issues? Ask the person how he will work on these concerns - while laying out your expectations.
How can you help? While you won't be able to do the hard work for the person, can you find ways to make the change easy for the person?
If the research is right, nearly 9 out of 10 of your team members lack self-awareness. These questions may not help you "fix" the person, but will allow you to identify whether you can help - or perhaps where you're hurting - the situation.
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